My defination of Love....

My definition of love...is different from the book
my definition of love is more than just a look
love is more than a wordmore than a song, more than a note
love is more than a poemmore than anything i've wrote
love is reaching out to touch someoneto be sure that they're there
love is leaning in to kiss someone
to remind them that you care
love is looking her in the eyesand whispering in her ears
love is cuddling when she cries
and catching all her tears
love is the warmth shared between hugs
when everything else is cold
love is knowing they'll still be there
when everything else is old
love is hearts beating faster and faster
while everything else is slowed down
love is singing sweet songs to her
even if hundreds are around
love is driving through the rain
to help someone through tough times
love is me wishing that you'll love me too
wishing you'd be mine
love isn't just holding hands
love is holding hearts
love isn't where it ends....love is where it starts...

too good

You’re my sunshine after the rain You’re the cure against my fear and my pain ‘Cause I’m losing my mind When you’re not around It’s all... it’s all... It’s all because of you You’re my sunshine Oh yeah... Baby I really know by now Since we met that day You showed me the way I felt it then you gave me love I can’t describe How much I feel for you I said baby I should have known by now Should have been right there Whenever you needed loveAnd if only you were here I’d tell you, yes I’d tell you How much i love you..Honestly, could it be you and me Like it was before Neither less or more 'Cause when I close my eyes At night I realize that no one else Could ever take your place I love you....

Preparing to be nostalgic.....

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives Where we're gonna be when we turn 25 I keep thinking times will never change Keep on thinking things will always be the same But when we leave this year we won't be coming back No more hanging out cause we're on a different track And if you got something that you need to say You better say it right now cause you don't have another day Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down These memories are playing like a film without sound As we go on We remember All the times we Had together And as our lives change Come whatever We will still be Friends Forever So if we get the big jobs And we make the big money When we look back now Will our jokes still be funny? Will we still remember everything we learned in college? Still be trying to break every single rule Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man? Can we ever find a job that won't interfere with a tan? I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye Keep on thinking it's a time to fly Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now? Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow? I guess I thought that this would never end And suddenly it's like we're women and men Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round? Will these memories fade when I leave this town I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye Keep on thinking it's a time to fly !!!

The Proof

She was inconsolable….a feeling of having being wronged in terrible way was pounding her mind. Restless, she was running out of her thoughts….her voice ceased to exist when she tried helplessly to vent out her grief. Felt like banging her head against the wall which also had beautiful portrait of them. “Why did he leave me …..God why was I out of my senses”, she seemed to scream. But of no avail…she was left all alone to sympathize and empathize with herself.

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“I don’t trust you”, she gave her frank opinion. “I some or other feel you still love her only…..why?? if wouldn’t you return back to her if she said yes at this point….I am sure you would. I just don’t believe you”. He was not surprised at her reaction; this wasn’t the first time though that she had come up with such views but off late the frequency had definitely increased. He tried to control his anguish and anger. His mistake…. he had reveled to her about his past…..as a young teenager, bolstered by his friends; he had proposed a damsel in his college. Though the relation never actually took off, he too didn’t mind as even while proposing her, he was more interested in joining the ‘elite’ group of his friends who had proposed someone rather than actually being interested in the results. The result, an obvious ‘Big Zero’ failed to falter him. Though he had maintained good relationship with this person yet such thoughts never ever crossed his mind again….even forcing him to laugh off the histrionics he had come up with while proposing her. The story had a silent ending…..or this was what he thought….as it was to come back to haunt him again and again in his present tense.

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He was a happy man. His dream girl was his fiancée now. Life seemed to be rocking…”What else do I want in life”, he was never tired of asking himself. Truly Gods seemed to favor him….or were they really???
He was not a straight forward person but wasn’t even crooked. He liked playing gimmicks ….most of them unintentionally, just to satisfy his alter ego. This was one of his traits which were slowly proving to be his nemesis…. During a regular meet…he was describing his college life to her and went on to mention his ‘proposal’ incident. She was enjoying his stories till then but the moment he had finished his latest…her expressions made him realize that along with the story, he had finished the relation too. Their relation was never the same again. She had a feeling of having been betrayed. She wasn’t at fault too….after all every girl wants to be the sole occupier of her man’s heart. But unknown to her she was actually doing so….there was no room for anyone else in his heart a fact which kept on disbelieving. The crack kept on widening…. Added to this she found that he was still in contact with her…sms…emails…calls. This was something which she really could not digest. Her suspicion took over her and the relation too. Time and again he tried to prove his innocence but failed to do so….after all this wasn’t a chemical or mathematical equation which can be proved to someone. How often can a person prove his love for someone…..???? His behavior and attitude towards the relation might be few factors which can be accepted partly as metrics worth evaluation …..but here she wasn’t prepared for these too. Her engagement with him was literally in shambles. He was totally engrossed in getting back their relation to normalcy if not better, but of no avail. He k new that the end was imminent.

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Equations had clearly changed. He started to realize that that there something he wanted in this life of his. A simple “I trust you” from her….a want which he started to realize that it would never materialize. They fought everyday…one of them trying to prove…satisfy…and stamp a so called fact while the other fiercely resisting it. Finally the doomsday had arrived, a day which neither of them wanted or expected to interfere in their hitherto sweet memorable life. She insisted on calling off their engagement and in a fit of rage threw the ring on him….as the engagement ring rolled out on the road disappearing somewhere….all the bitter sweet memories flashed in his mind….he simply walked toward his bike…kicked it to ignition and raised the throttle to full. And before zooming through a cloud of smoke he told her….”you will shortly get the proof you wanted” “Go to hell, seemed to be her reply.

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Her cell phone blinked indicating an sms. It read…

“Alwys wntd 2 hear hw mch u trustd me.bt I faild.by da tim u gt dis sms i wud b gne.trust me.ther is no one else in my hrt but u. Luv u so much bye tc”

Although they had fought and had many bitter moments yet she could never recollect a single incident during which he had talked of leaving her. So she was startled by this message. She still cherished love in her heart. Even she was often confused and often questioned herself as to what she was up to….but failed to get any relevant answers. She wanted to be with him only. She wanted to speak to him once again. She wanted to apologize for her words which now she felt would have really shattered him. At once her heart was filled with joy…it was his call she could judge it by the ringtone…she was getting ready to shower apologies on him….the smile which was long lost was back on her lips….



He was dead. His bike had rammed a truck coming from opposite direction. Passerbies had seen him handling his cell phone while driving. The police had called the no. stored against the entry ‘Wife’ from his cell phone which wasn’t damaged in the incident to inform her about the incident. A case of death due to reckless driving while using the cell phone was registered. “These youngsters…they will never listen to us when we say no phones while driving”, someone standing there quipped.





She was inconsolable….a feeling of having being wronged in terrible way was pounding her mind. Restless, she was running out of her thoughts….her voice ceased to exist when she tried helplessly to vent out her grief. Felt like banging her head against the wall which also had beautiful portrait of them. “Why did he leave me …..God why was I out of my senses”, she seemed to scream. But of no avail…she was left all alone to sympathize and empathize with herself.

Yes …he was right. He had proved what he meant….life was never the same for her again.

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Thats Life...

This one's from my collection....u will surely agree with the gist...even I did...

Prologue:

Half past eight at night, a moonlit lawn, dinner tables with candle lights, melodious love songs playing in the background, a sweet-scented cool breeze drifting across the gardens; what could be more romantic for a newly married couple? Abhirami and I had got married three weeks back, after we had been engaged for a mere twenty days.

It was a routine for us to dine out every Saturday night since the day we had got engaged.1My parents had found Abhirami through an online matrimony and had chosen her after scanning many profiles. Incidentally, she worked in the same company as I did. An MBA grad just out of college, she worked as an Associate Manager in HR and had joined our company three months before I first met her in her house.The first encounter was a good one though. Our parents gave about an hour's time in private to get to know each other and for me, it was more like an HR round of some walk-in interview; she had bombarded me with so many questions! The only question I got to ask was an initial "Hi?" after which, she took over the scene and spoke so many things about her in less than fifteen minutes, not only was it difficult for me to digest all of what she said, but also it did not leave me anymore questions to be asked; I just kept answering to whatever she asked me. In any case, I was not much keen on trying to find out anything about her, for I had already agreed on everything even before going to their house. My decision of saying yes was because of only one reason - to keep my parents happy, at least this time.

The day after our engagement, we met at a shopping mall and as we strolled around we chit-chatted while window-shopping at the same time. 'Paapu' was her pet name at home and I too preferred calling her like that, not only because I felt she was a little kiddish, but also since she was almost four years younger than me. "Hey paapu, we haven’t even got three weeks for our marriage, you know", I said."Yeah and I'm telling you now itself, go and live your life to its fullest, do whatever you want in these days and be done with your bachelorhood. I bet you'll repent later for having lost your freedom", she chuckled, paused and then asked with eyes wide open, "Why? Are you scared?""Naah! I'm all ready for it, you know. But it's all happening so quickly and you know I was just wondering how you could agree for all this so fast!""Karthik!" she used to call me by name, "when my parents told me that someone was interested to take me as his wife, in a way I felt easy that that someone worked in the same company as I did. So I dug out some basic information about you, 'you know' and I had a peep into your website...""That's not my website; it's my blog!" I was really passionate about it, even the calling."Blog or whatever. Anything which opens in that 'e'-Internet Explorer is a website for me." It's a little difficult to explain such things to technically-non-sense people and hence I preferred not to interrupt her. "Ok ok! You were telling something, please continue.""Ya. Then I saw your web..blog, went through all that you had written, came to know quite a few things about you and was really impressed on your ability to churn up so many words.""Whaaaaaaat?" I was flabbergasted. "You fell for a guy just by seeing some bullshit he has written for someone else?""Whoa! That's not it. There's something else too. But hey, why the hell do you think that what you write is crap? Believe me, the only way in this whole wide world to express your feelings to a girl like me is by words and not roses or chocolates! Words are forever my dear and I very well know that whatever you wrote over there came out straight from your heart. Those words were good enough to prove to me that you had a clean heart. I just tried putting myself in place of the one for whom you wrote all that stuff and trust me, I could really feel that all of it was written for me. All it took for me was a little trying; was kind of a mental preparation for me to be your wife. By the way, who said you write junk? Tell me and I know how to deal with them", she gave the look of a girl child playing teacher-teacher."Trying to take undue advantage of your authority, eh?" I tried pulling her leg."Well, then I don't know what you're gonna do if I told you that I had talked to all of your team members two weeks ago.""What? Oh my god! Now I know what that 'Meet-Your-HR' was for. I did want to know why project managers were not invited, but then, my team mates said it was just an informal meet to discuss some of their problems...""I made it look like that", she winked with an evil smile, "and actually due to that, I came to know what others around you think of you - professionally as well as personally! Their opinions just added on to my reasons; I had to rely on others opinion you see, I never even knew that such a creature had existed for me. So there was no question of having my opinion about you", she smiled again.

I felt I heard somebody laughing at me and someone else yelling from behind, "Dude, you are dead meat now. She's gonna be watching you 24/7." But whatever it was, I felt that maybe, in Abhirami, I am finding my lost love."Hey paapu, tell me one thing. Didn’t you have any boyfriends ever?" I'd never gotten a chance to ask that. "I did. Four, till date." "Whoa! Then how come you didn’t think of getting along with any of them for life?""Na na!" She made faces, "They were really good boyfriends; but none too good for a hubby material. Each of them always thought of taking me out, going out to movies, parks and shopping and at some point of time secretly thinking of laying me down! But don’t you worry. I'm still a virgin.""Ha ha! No, I don't really mind. But don't you feel guilty that you ditched four good guys?""You know one thing dear. Not all boyfriends make good husbands and not all girlfriends make good wives. By the way, I did not ditch any of them. They simply went away; some butterflies and some cowards. But, what about you? You never told me who that girl was?" "Hey look! This shop says flat 50% off on all type of clothes. Wanna try out?" I asked her. "You bet! Chalo, let's go inside." She pulled me in. It's so easy to divert a woman's mind I thought and felt glad about the experience I had gained!

Three weeks after our marriage, on yet another Saturday night, we had gone to yet another restaurant. This was a newly opened garden restaurant on top of a hillock and was not known by many. With candle-lit dinner tables in an open garden and a soft cool breeze drifting across, it was the perfect getaway for families as well as couples on any night of the week. Abhirami and I took a table in the far corner; not that nobody should disturb us, but because I did not want anybody else to get disturbed by our, I mean Abhirami's, talking. A few moments after we settled down, while we still hadn’t thought about ordering anything, a very cute little boy, maybe not even two years old, toddled towards our table. "Cho chweet!" Abhirami exclaimed and turned sideward to pick him up. She was very fond of small kids and always coquetted that she wanted at least a dozen of them from me! Before she even stretched her hands, a female voice started calling out, "Partha, Partha, come here. Come here dear." The name Partha struck something in me. But what was more unsettling was the woman who called out. She came near our table and while she picked him up and said, "He's become very naughty these days. Keeps running away all the..." she saw my face; words got stuck in her throat. She turned to see where her husband was. He was already seated at a nearby table. "Very sweet child!" Abhirami said to her, but she did not listen. She simply went to her table and sat down. My mind was totally fazed out.Abhirami turned towards me. She could easily sense that I was unnerved. "Something’s wrong? What happened dear?" "No, nothing. Paapu can we go to some other place? I'm not finding the ambience as good as people told about it.""What? I am not budging from this chair until we are done for this evening. Karthik, I'm sure it's about something else. Come on tell me what it is." The first time I tried lying to her and I was caught so easily. I knew I had no option but to give away."You always wanted to know who my first love was, isn’t it? That's her - Poorvi; the lady who picked up the kid just now." Abhirami turned back to see Poorvi seated diagonally opposite to us and facing our table. "Paapu, please, don’t look at someone like that." "Oh! Come on, she’s not any someone. Let me see what's so special about her that made you go head over heels." "You can never see it from the outside." I said lowering my voice.She turned back. "Karthik, I always felt there was something really heavy that you carried all the time. It's probably because you have never got anybody to share it with or never thought of letting it out. Listen to me. Tell me about it right now. I am sure it will definitely make you feel lighter. Trust me." She held my hand. I did trust her. I too felt that there was no point in keeping it inside anymore. "Paapu, she was my college mate; we first met during our college fest in the second year. After that, we met often; sometimes by chance and many a times on purpose, and as we kept meeting, our friendship grew. By the time we reached the final year, we both knew it was something more than friendship that we had in mind. Never in my life had I felt so good about any girl. I started to miss her when she did not meet me or call me on some day. You know it's like, we miss only those whom we never want to miss. With Poorvi around, I felt I had found something that I had always been missing in my life. On one fine day, in our college campus itself, I proposed to her. She too accepted with a beautiful smile. I felt I was the luckiest person in the whole world. "We both had been selected for the same company in a campus interview during our sixth semester itself and so, even before we got out of college, we had started dreaming about settling down in our lives, so much that we had even planned to name our kid 'Partha' if it was a boy and 'Punya' if it happened to be a girl!""Wow! I'm kinda liking this." Abhirami's eyes were gleaming."Unfortunately, the second half isn’t as good. After we got into our jobs, almost everyone except her parents had come to know about us. I too had told my parents that if at all I marry, I will marry only this girl. They were down emotionally and against me for some days but then they understood how much she meant to me and later whole-heartedly accepted her. From then on, she even used to attend every family function of ours. My parents had also agreed to talk to her parents regarding this."But before they did that, on one fine day, when Poorvi had been to her native, she told everything to her parents. That was when tragedy struck. For her parents who were very much conservative, their only daughter's love-marriage was the biggest insult they could suffer in the family. Giving a petty reason that the horoscopes do not match, although there was no problem of caste or community, they simply said no to it and put some guy's photo in front of her and forced her to marry him. When Poorvi resisted, her father suffered a cardiac arrest. I do not know if he acted so, but the doctor is supposed to have said to her that one more such attack and she may lose her father. Hearing this, her mother too sentimentally blackmailed her and all that Poorvi could do was succumb to the situation. She left me stranded but I still don’t blame her; I had been with her for not even five years but her parents were there for her right from the start. I still remember her last words - 'I am really very sorry'. She even quit the company before completing two years and did not wish to continue as a friend either. So I never tried to contact her after that. "I went into solitude for one and a half years, searching for a bit of joy all the time. But in the last four to five months, things at my home reached crisis. Both my parents became more depressed than I was and started to lose their health. This time, I had to surrender to the pressure. Finally I said I would marry any girl that they would put in front of me and then…" my tone was heavy as I finished my story, "you know what happened." Abhirami's eyes were fixed. After a moment, she sat next to me, held my hand tightly and rested her head on my shoulder. For the first time ever I felt Abhirami's hug was different. I could feel her silence telling me something, “Karthik, promise me that you'll never leave me. I need you more than anybody else in this world.” My heart understood what her silence spoke. I realized that I had to be the one in her life and that all she wanted was a little love in return for everything of hers. I looked into her eyes; my eyes made the promise. Finally she spoke. With an aching voice, she just said, "I love you Karthik. Let's go home." We got up. Abhirami remained clung to me like a small child holding its mother. I put my arms around her shoulder and started walking.As I walked past Poorvi, I saw her eyes. There was regret in them. I just wished that she would bury it all.

Final WordsThey say 'Marriages are made in heaven'. Made or not, I do not know, but one thing is for sure - the one whom you’re going to marry, would have already been decided by The One above. No matter how many crushes you have in your life, no matter how many infatuations you go through and no matter how much you try to get into a relationship with someone, you're going to marry the only one you're destined to. If that 'one' happens to be the one you're already in love with, then you sure are lucky, or else, better luck next time!